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Danica Patrick: One Fast Woman!

Cheers to fast women! Usually people snicker when they hear the words “fast” and “women” in one sentence, but this fast woman is no joke. I saw her on CNN just this morning sharing her news with the entire world. Danica Patrick, race car driver, just won the poll position of the 55th Daytona 500 time trials, posting a lap of 196.434 mph making her the first female to do so in history. You may recognize her as the beautiful brunette from the website company GO DADDY’s advertising campaigns. If being a beautiful racecar driver, model and spokeswoman wasn’t enough now she’s making national headlines.

For those that aren’t familiar with the sport, the poll position she just won is the strategic leading position to earn on a racetrack. To start on the inside edge, first row – gives the driver a logistical advantage over all the other stock cars. Although she’ll have a starting advantage during the “Great American Race”, history shows that it doesn’t guarantee a win. No poll winner in over a decade has won the Dayton 500 – not since Dale Jarrett in 2000, said NASCAR spokesman Scott Warfield. But she will have the fans cheering for her.

Danica’s love affair with racing started early. At age 10 she began go-kart racing in 1992 in Wisconsin not far from Roscoe, Illinois where she grew up. She never looked back. Along the way, both of her parents have been supportive of her career, and today are involved in the daily operations of her businesses. A media darling, she has been acted in TV shows, been featured music videos, and commercials. Now with this new poll-win under her belt, all eyes will be watching. Regardless if she wins the Daytona 500 or not, she is a winner. Her drive, focus and passion is a lesson for us all.

[Here’s a racy picture of her — no pun intended!]

What I Have Learned From My Sons

I often say that my biggest teachers have been my kids. It is a strange feeling to be walking down the street with both of them towering over me, and poking fun of all the strange things I do. But believe me, life with them keeps getting more and more interesting with each year.My older son, Phillip, went to study abroad for a semester and gave us a boost of energy and inspiration with his notes from abroad. The new living arrangements, the new culture and language were a shock to the system—but Phillip loved the feeling of exploring and experiencing a new environment. They say that parents shouldn’t live through their kids, but in this instance I can tell you that Phillip’s sense of adventure and his natural inquisitiveness fulfilled a part of me as well. I guess this past few months have only shown how new experiences unleash a part of ourselves that we may have never known existed.

This past year was a big year for my younger son as well. Eli is a senior and has been looking at various colleges around the country. Last summer he surprised us all when he came back from a four-week business leadership class and announced, “This is it! I want to apply to the best business schools in the country!” There is no other word to describe him, but to say that he has a lot of “chutzpah”. You see, if he were playing the odds game—he could have played it safe and applied to a highly selective liberal arts college—the ones that he had all along thought of applying to before his summer experience. But, he told us that he was ready to be rejected, but what he needed to do was be in a business program that he loved. Needless to say that for the following months he was laser focused on getting interviews at his top school of his choice and making sure he had the best application possible.

The last few days leading up to getting the admission news were truly nerve wracking for him. My husband and I noticed how invested he was in his decision and wondering what may happen? Good news is that he was accepted to his school of choice!

But why am I choosing to talk about this story? I was noticing how naturally Eli followed his instincts, his passion and how he was willing to put himself on the line and risk rejection to get what he wanted. His decision paid off, but I have a feeling he would have coped with a rejection and would have applied to other business schools of his choice. I have been thinking about his actions quite a lot. Here he was as an enthusiastic 17 year old, grabbing life with his two hands and believing that his new found passion is worth his time and worth risking hurting his ego.
He reflected something for the whole family to see—that we can be more open with our choices, and put the necessary time and dedication to bring a dream to fruition.

This coming year, I hope to keep this lesson alive in my heart! I hope that you too draw inspiration from those around you, and in turn, use it to lead an inspired life!
Happy Holidays.

Women’s Legacy as Leaders

I hate to be late at events—and I become mortified to think I might be even 5 minutes late to an event where I am one of the keynote speakers. While I was braving the 10 East traffic this Thursday at 7:30 in the morning, I kept worrying if I would make it to the Pasadena Convention Center on time. Never mind that my navigation system was malfunctioning and I was trying to figure out where I need to go on my iPhone while listening to Oprah’s satellite radio program of “who is an energy sucker in your life.” Quite honestly, the question is not “who” but “what”. Traffic nowadays is the biggest drain of my energy.

But, once I parked my car and ran into the ballroom of the convention center and checked in for “Women’s Legacy Leadership Conference,” I felt a rush of positive energy go through me.

Once guided though the large doors of the banquet hall, it was clear that this was going to be a wonderful event. The room was full of beautiful round tables laid with promotional materials including, a packet and little pink rubber hard-hats symbolizing hardworking women. Before the event I was told there would be about 600 women at the event, and once I walked, it was clear that they had all arrived. There was a large stage at the front flanked by two digital movie screens with the event branding perfectly in place.

Phyllis Currie and Gail Farber are two super star women serving the county of Los Angeles in high leadership roles. They started off the day sharing their impressions on their personal journeys. Shortly after I arrived, it was my turn to present – and I focused on some of the key leadership lessons learned from the women featured in Pioneers of the Possible. It is an uncanny feeling when you feel so connected to hundreds of women in the room. Under the dimmed lights, the atmosphere felt intimate and I felt my message about the book resonated with them.

Usually when I make my way back to my seat, I check in with my assistant, who joins me at these events, to see if I did all right.  You see, I don’t think this question comes from a place of insecurity. Truthfully, it comes from a place of utter curiosity, because when I am at the podium, I feel like I am in a cocoon with the audience. I have no sense of time or much else. All I try to do is speak with passion about the subjects that I am passionate about.

Well, nothing could have prepared me for the wonderful and heartfelt response I got at the intermission. Once I got to the book-signing table, I noticed a line forming that went down the hall. If I may say so, I was so pleased that my books sold out in a matter of 20 minutes! But, the highlight was chatting with these amazing women who shared their experiences with me. One told me about her upcoming promotion, another about her 3 beautiful daughters that she has raised on her own, and yet another one told me about how arranged a stand-in to save her friend’s home during foreclosure. Now how could I have met any of these women if I hadn’t participated in this conference?

Of course, I got a chance to meet up with an old friend, best-selling author Hope Adelman, and had the opportunity to hear Christine Schwab speak for the first time.

Both are remarkable women who are passionate about seeing women succeed.

The message for the whole day for me was that our journey has much meaning. I always tell the audience that we all have a story. We define our story as much our story defines us. In order to reach higher and assume a leadership position in our own lives, we need to be committed to a path of growth. I felt privileged to have heard the many touching stories of resilience, success, hope, and courage at this conference.  If these are traits that we as women can harness, then we too can be pioneers in our own lives!

Enlightened

Before heading to the Grand Hall for my speaking engagement at Rice University, I had to make one stop! I simply could not visit the majestic Rice campus and not stand underneath James Turrell’s “Twilight Epiphany” Skyspace.  James Turell medium of art is light, and he has always said, “light itself is a form of revelation and a source of contemplation”. Of course as I watched the light show in the skyspace pavilion, I was filled with a sense of expansiveness that was indescribable.

James Turrell’s “Twilight Epiphany”

As lifelong learners, we also hope to experience those “light filled” moments where we gain new insight on life and people. One of the ways in which we all can play a part in transformation is by sharing what inspires us. Given my natural curiosity and my training in psychology I have always been fascinated by visionaries, who have been at the forefront of change, who have led the way to a broader way of perceiving the world.

This fascination led me to write “Pioneers of the Possible: Celebrating Visionary Women of the World”. In the book, I offer a personal and psychological narrative of the most trailblazing women around the world.  My quest to connect and have meaningful conversations about this topic has led to a yearlong book tour, which is why I was invited to come and speak at Rice University.

It is one thing to go to an institution and talk about what I am passionate about, but it is another thing to see that an institution can so thoughtfully integrate a talk and link it to their students’ passion.  For my speaking engagement, The Center For the Study of Women, Gender, and Sexuality brought together 20 non-profit organizations (AssistHers, YWCA, Girls Inc., The Women’s Home to name a few) to its Grand Hall so that students could sign up to volunteer for these organizations following my talk.

If there are two messages that I can impart about my book, it would be that effective leaders 1) build a life around their strengths and 2) visionaries commit themselves to a purpose that is larger than themselves.  The idea of service is pivotal in one’s growth and transformation, and how appropriate it was for an educational institution to facilitate growth in such a thoughtful and meaningful way.

Perhaps the Turell piece that I so wanted to visit is just another symbol for what the campus does already.

Whirlwind New York City Tour

It all started with a red eye flight to NY. “You must be out of your mind to start our such a busy week of book promotion with a red eye flight,” everyone warned me.  But for someone like m, who needs very little sleep and is always scrambling for more time, the red eye flight was the answer! No bloodshot eyes or energy drinks for me…I was ready to go!  Part of the excitement comes from not knowing how the week unfolds and but a big part of it is connecting with all of the wonderful people I had planned to see.

Diving right in, Monday was an important day. I met with my publishers at their big office in the city — Assouline — to sign three-hundred books in preparation for the two big upcoming events.

I remember a few years back, before my first book was even an idea, going into Rizzoli’s and looking at all the beautiful books on display. I started to think back then how great it would be if I could one day write a book that would be sold in such a special place. Now here I am on my second book tour for “Pioneers of the Possible”, signing many books, prepping for parties, and am able to walk by Rizzoli’s see my own book in the window. It is such moments so personal that nobody sees that have such significance for me. These are the moments that make my heart full and remind me that anything is possible. The power of our dreams and of dedication is the magic that makes all the difference.

Tuesday, March 6th in the evening there was a packed book signing event at theLeila Heller Gallery followed up by a special dinner at the Americano. The very talented Shirin Neshat, photographer and filmmaker, was there as were many wonderful friends and some new faces.

Photo Courtesy: [Tory Burch, Jacqueline Novogratz, Dawn Ostroff, Angella Nazarian, Melissa Berkelhammer via BFA]

Wednesday was another huge day for me. That evening ( March 7th) Tory Burch & Dawn Ostroff co-hosted a glamorous Book Launch Party at Tory Burch’s Flagship store on Madison Avenue. What a delight for the senses! And what a turnout—250 people in attendance. One of the greatest gifts was that Jacqueline Novogratz, who is featured in the book, came and spoke. She is literally changing the face of philanthropy with her Acumen Fund. Featured on the Forbes cover in December 2011, she has created a new model for philanthropy, which combines venture capitalism in industries that support sustainable life in third world nations. For example, brining in clean water to a community, and electricity, etc.  It was nothing short of a magical event with some of the most inspirational people that work in media, philanthropy and women’s organizations all there in one room with the same heart beat — to make a difference in the world.

Thursday, March 8th, marked the eve of International Day of the Women. Tina Brown’s Women of the World Summit was in New York and drew in pioneering women from all around the world to speak. Among them, Meryl Streep, Hillary Clinton, Sheryl Sandberg, Diane Von Furstenberg, Leymah Gbowee, and Christine Lagarde.

Hillary happened to speak on the importance of women to living fearlessly. This, yet another common thread weaved through the lives of inspiring women who have changed the world.

I left New York full of inspiration. There were so many precious moments and seeds planted  that I know will tie into the greater message of my life… “We really can all pioneers, visionaries and accomplish great things in our own lives”…. But the first step is courage—developing that fearlessness inside of us!

Seven of my dearest friends came on this trip to support me and to celebrate the launch of my new book, which was so kind,  and I have to give them a public thank you for being what Arianna Huffington refers to as “my fearless tribe”. This is a group of women who all support one another in pursuit of our dreams, and are always there to celebrate one another’s achievements. Thank you my dear friends — you know who you are!

The Brave Collection: Where Fashion Becomes Social Action

Fashion, jewelry and accessories have been used socially for generations to help others understand a part of our story. In some cases, it becomes like a second skin, reflecting our values, passions, interests, or industry. Whether artistic, formal, protective, casual or ever-changing — our fashions are always leaving clues and whispering hidden messages of who we are, or who we want to become.

THE BRAVE COLLECTION, created by Jessica Hendricks is a line of bracelets with a message of its own.  Made of sterling silver, 14k gold and recycled brass bombshell castings from the Cambodian Civil War, the bracelets proudly display the word “Klahan” which means “Brave” in Khmer, the language of Cambodia. After being charmed by the sweet designs of the bracelet, the obvious questions that arise are “what does that say?” and “what does it mean?” propelling the inquisitor into the heart of a terrifying and tragic story, one that’s all too real, but one that offers a call to action that can be as simple as wearing the fashion.

Now for Jessica’s story…

Jessica was an English teacher working abroad in Thailand. Having the opportunity to take some side trips, she ventured into Cambodia and fell in love with the culture and people until she learned of the horrible human violations plaguing the country as a result of the sex-trade industry. Amongst the horror stories, she learned that Cambodia is among the worst solicitors of sex slaves, and although now a global problem, Cambodian children, especially girls, are among the worst targeted. Like all sex slaves, they are stolen or traded and sold for enormous profits at the cost of their personhood. According to Jessica’s research, girls as young as four years old are being sold to brothels, are terribly abused, and sometimes forced to serve up to 30 “clients” a day. Unable to escape these enormity of the problem, she came back with a vision to make a difference. She discovered Cambodian schools and artisans that offered exploited women new opportunities, and this was perfect point of connection for her and the dream in her heart to take shape. Jessica’s company has helped bring girls and women over to New York to be a part of “THE BRAVE COLLECTION” team. This happens when brave individuals like Jessica unite to create awareness. She has developed a beautiful line, and given voice to a cause that needs our immediate attention. By wearing the bracelet, one not only supports an ethical, love-driven business, but helps share the story and raise awareness.

For me, Jessica Hendricks is a pioneering woman. Her passion to make a difference is contagious, and it’s one of the markers of a successful leader. This coincides with a message I’ve been passionately pursuing in my own life journey. I’ve just released my second book “Pioneers of the Possible: Celebrating Visionary Women of the World” (Assouline), with the desire to encourage women to live their best lives, and follow the guidance of their conscience, regardless of how difficult a journey it seems. “Pioneers of the Possible” is a collection of stories of women who in their own right, have changed the world to make it a better place for us all, and what better examples can we give ourselves than the inspiring stories of other great women?

“It’s Our Turn” Brentwood School hosts it’s first ever Young Women’s Conference featuring Maria Shriver, Mary J Blige, and surprise guest Lady GAGA.

Eight hundred and fifty young women from 150 schools in the Los Angeles area had gathered in the Gym of Brentwood School for its first ever, Young Women’s Conference, called “It’s Our Turn.”

It was a proud moment for all of us women and especially Brentwood parents to see such a thoughtful and inspirational day unfold before us.  Maria Shriver was the honorary chair for the event and the executive committee—the ones who put on the conference—was made of 10 brilliant Brentwood School Girls that had a passion for growth and for tackling some modern-day issues facing girls today.

It goes without saying the discussion panels and the speakers were beyond belief! Yes, just imagine that the fierce and talented Mary J Blige spoke onstage about her journey, her relationships, and her own experiences with work and rejection.  She was so gracious, candid, and open-hearted that you couldn’t help but admire this woman for what she has done.

I had the great privilege of being a presenter as well and I when I was in the green room, I ran into her and told her how real and remarkable she was.  She smiled at me and said, “Thank you, it means a lot to me.” She wasn’t acting like a larger than life personality, but rather a humble and authentic woman.

A whole host of accomplished women took the stage talking about balancing work and family, about giving back to the community, self-defense and creating boundaries, self-esteem, and bullying.

The big surprise came at the final hour of the event. The surprise guest speaker was blonde donning Chanel sunglasses, a bright red lipstick, a biker leather jacket with studs all over. Any clues? A red silk blouse was tied around her waste that served as a make shift mini skirt and heals that must have been 10 inches high. She came on the stage and the entire gym went wild—there she was—Lady Gaga!

In a world where everything dwindles down to images and sound bites, Lady Gaga sat and talked about her difficulties she faced in being excluded in high school, her own insecurities, and some of the obstacles that have come across her path.  Well over a hundred girls stood in line to ask her questions, and I was amazed to see the level of connection and truthfulness she shared with the audience.

As everyone headed out of the conference, all I could hear were the girls chatting among themselves about the incredible day they had all shared. I was thinking to myself how wonderful it would have been for my generation to have had this kind of opportunity to talk about such issues when we were in the midst of our tumultuous, hormonal ride through high school.  Indeed “It is Our Turn” was the most appropriate name for the conference for these girls.

Margaret Thatcher: If You Want Anything Done, Ask a Woman

“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man — If you want anything done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher 1982.

Margaret Thatcher, known best as the ‘Iron Lady’ and former Prime Minister of Great Britain (from 1979-1990), will forever be remembered as the United Kingdom’s most powerful Prime Minister since the days of Winston Churchill.

She entered government during difficult times, and is largely credited to turning things around. Labor Unions were on strikes for various reasons, and the nation’s economy was facing recession. As the first ever woman Prime Minister, and leader of the Conservative Party, Margaret Thatcher put a plan into action. She privatized public housing and formerly nationalized enterprises such as coal, iron, steel, gas, electricity and water supply, and restricted some of the power of trade unions. Her riskiest move of all was the way she tried to control inflation. She believed inflation was a disease of money and only controlling the money supply could cure, and that she did. During her tenure, inflation fell from 27% in 1975 to 2.5 % in 1986.

She never lost an election, and won wars — most notably the Faulkland Islands. She forged a key alliance with President Ronald Reagan, where Britain and the US became the most powerful allies in fighting the Cold War.

Born into a middle-class family in Grantham, Lincolnshire (13 October 1925), Martha neither knew great lack or great privilege in her youth.

Margaret’s father, Alfred, was the single biggest influence in her life.

He stressed the importance of handwork and duty, and always asked her to form her own opinions on matters. She graduated from Oxford in 1947, with a degree in Chemistry, and was the first in her family to go to University. In 1951 she met Denis Thatcher, a wealthy divorced businessman, with whom she married and had two sons. He funded her continuing education, which enabled her to become a barrister. This man must have been an incredible man for knowing and understanding who Margaret was and supporting her in her dreams. And she was also quite grateful.

When she finally resigned as Prime Minister, she asked the Queen that Dennis not she, be given an honorary title, as Sir Dennis.

As much as she didn’t have many close women friends and enjoyed the company of men, she had no qualms about her identity as a woman. When running for premiership, she explained, “Any woman who understands the problems of running a home, will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.”

Respected by Presidents, World Leaders, and civilians Margaret Thatcher will be remembered as a strong politician who was never afraid to put up a fight for her country. I can’t wait to see the new movie coming out that features Meryll Streep as Mrs. Thatcher. I hear that the movie is not so kind to her, but in the world of politics, even the kindest of women is fair game.

The ‘Woman in the Mirror’

It’s been six years that I’ve been conducting women’s workshops. And it was just recently that I sent out this intention into the universe “I want to talk about inspirational topics with women from all different walks of life.”

What fuels my life is being around likeminded women who support me in figuring out who I am. So it was only a couple of months ago when I had gone to visit my publisher in New York that I stole two hours for myself to venture out and see great art.

And Voila! This is what you get: Woman in the Mirror, by Picasso.

There is so much to say about this image that captivated me.

How many times have we are the culprits that limit our own growth? When I first wanted to write a book, all of these negative and fearful thoughts came to my mind —Why would anybody be interested in what I have to say? How dare I change my work from being a psychology professor to becoming a writer! It’s too late. How can I manage the workload with my family’s needs? I’m too old. Am I going through a midlife crisis?—You can just imagine the laundry list of all the reasons I came up with.

I’m sure all of us have gone through this at some point of our lives or another. And magically, when I was doing research for my second book Anais Nin’s quote hit home:

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are” — Anais Nin.

As we go through life’s journey, we stumble upon ourselves over and over again —our deepest desires, the important relationships in our lives, our career choices, strengths and limitations, force us to reexamine who we are and where we are heading.

Our life is seldom a straight path, but rather a series of unfolding takings and turnings. Do we check in with ourselves to see if we are headed in the right direction?

In the hopes of creating meaningful dialogue for us women who are embracing the journey, I will be posting thoughts, discoveries and topics that may interest you. But most importantly, I would like to create a forum where we inspire one another to experiencing greater and deeper lives. Just remember, re-visioning ourselves does not require us to tear down all that we have worked for, but to refocus our energies on what invigorates us most.

Here is a great quote to think about “A little change is all it takes to make a big difference,” —Editor at O, Magazine.

Seasons: Life is a Beach – in the Summer

For me, the eternal student, Summer has always been a time for fun. It’s a time to travel, spend time at the sea, and relish in the relaxing moments with my family and friends…time seems more generous. If you like to barbecue or lounge around the pool—you know that California summers are made for such things. It’s also the time of the year when all kids are out of school, and we who are parents can freely plan activities for our families without the constraints of the school schedules which encourage us to stay in for the night, to eat at home more often, and go to bed early.

I can’t believe it’s June already. It seems that it was just September a moment ago, and I was sending my eldest son off to college. Here we are now, the months have passed, and now I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with my family at the beach. Time is an interesting thing, as we all experience it differently at different seasons of life. For me, though, being a student and then becoming a teacher, and now a working mother, my rhythms have always been tied to the school calendar. When I think of the New Year – my first thought is September – not January. This may sound odd, but let’s face it, I find odd things more interesting…if you haven’t noticed by now!

This summer we’ve decided to rent a house on the beach for a week in Santa Monica— something that my friends may smile at seeing that we only live a city away. But realistically, who wants to drive in summer traffic (which is worse when all kids are out of school and on the road), when there are such places to rent on the California coast?

By the way, I’m not just an eternal student, but an eternal traveler as well. We have some an exciting trips planned for the summer so I will update you on that in the coming weeks.

I’m looking forward to slathering on the sunscreen, laying out on the sand with a good book in hand and sipping something cold to drink. The sound of the waves crashing and the chatter of other beach dwellers softly traveling in the wind is a luxury most of us Californians stay here for.

If you want to try some new dishes this summer, I recommending picking up a copy of “Persian Food from the non-Persian Bride”. This is a great resource and you can read my book review on Facebook.

Also for your summer reading I recommend the Churchill family biography entitled, “The Churchills”— a good blend of history and family drama.

If you get a chance, please check out an article profiling me by Slavica Monczka.