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Women’s Legacy as Leaders

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I hate to be late at events—and I become mortified to think I might be even 5 minutes late to an event where I am one of the keynote speakers. While I was braving the 10 East traffic this Thursday at 7:30 in the morning, I kept worrying if I would make it to the Pasadena Convention Center on time. Never mind that my navigation system was malfunctioning and I was trying to figure out where I need to go on my iPhone while listening to Oprah’s satellite radio program of “who is an energy sucker in your life.” Quite honestly, the question is not “who” but “what”. Traffic nowadays is the biggest drain of my energy.

But, once I parked my car and ran into the ballroom of the convention center and checked in for “Women’s Legacy Leadership Conference,” I felt a rush of positive energy go through me.

Once guided though the large doors of the banquet hall, it was clear that this was going to be a wonderful event. The room was full of beautiful round tables laid with promotional materials including, a packet and little pink rubber hard-hats symbolizing hardworking women. Before the event I was told there would be about 600 women at the event, and once I walked, it was clear that they had all arrived. There was a large stage at the front flanked by two digital movie screens with the event branding perfectly in place.

Phyllis Currie and Gail Farber are two super star women serving the county of Los Angeles in high leadership roles. They started off the day sharing their impressions on their personal journeys. Shortly after I arrived, it was my turn to present – and I focused on some of the key leadership lessons learned from the women featured in Pioneers of the Possible. It is an uncanny feeling when you feel so connected to hundreds of women in the room. Under the dimmed lights, the atmosphere felt intimate and I felt my message about the book resonated with them.

Usually when I make my way back to my seat, I check in with my assistant, who joins me at these events, to see if I did all right.  You see, I don’t think this question comes from a place of insecurity. Truthfully, it comes from a place of utter curiosity, because when I am at the podium, I feel like I am in a cocoon with the audience. I have no sense of time or much else. All I try to do is speak with passion about the subjects that I am passionate about.

Well, nothing could have prepared me for the wonderful and heartfelt response I got at the intermission. Once I got to the book-signing table, I noticed a line forming that went down the hall. If I may say so, I was so pleased that my books sold out in a matter of 20 minutes! But, the highlight was chatting with these amazing women who shared their experiences with me. One told me about her upcoming promotion, another about her 3 beautiful daughters that she has raised on her own, and yet another one told me about how arranged a stand-in to save her friend’s home during foreclosure. Now how could I have met any of these women if I hadn’t participated in this conference?

Of course, I got a chance to meet up with an old friend, best-selling author Hope Adelman, and had the opportunity to hear Christine Schwab speak for the first time.

Both are remarkable women who are passionate about seeing women succeed.

The message for the whole day for me was that our journey has much meaning. I always tell the audience that we all have a story. We define our story as much our story defines us. In order to reach higher and assume a leadership position in our own lives, we need to be committed to a path of growth. I felt privileged to have heard the many touching stories of resilience, success, hope, and courage at this conference.  If these are traits that we as women can harness, then we too can be pioneers in our own lives!

The First week of Pioneers of the Possible Book launch

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I woke up Tuesday morning especially early. For those of you who know me, it is of no surprise when you receive an email from me at 5:30 am!  For the past few years, I have been waking up automatically at 5am, and quite frankly this is the only time in the day that I feel I can get uninterrupted work done. So just imagine, here I was—wide awake at 4:30 in the morning, in the pitch dark—thinking of my big day ahead. Yes. It was my book launch celebration that Tuesday.

I tiptoed out of my bedroom to my home office and saw a message flashing on my screen.  Women’s Wear Daily had just printed a full-page article on my book, Pioneers of the Possible, the very day of my book launch on Tues. Feb. 21st!  I hoped that this wonderful review is a good omen for things to come for my book—my labor of love for the past 2 years.

You never know how a book is received by the public; as a writer you do what is most fascinating to you and you only hope that you transfer that excitement to the reader.   That Tuesday morning, I stepped into the SLS Hotel to find 350 eager readers and supporters greeting me.

I don’t know if I have the words to describe the special bond one creates with the reader; but most certainly it is an intimate one, because the book becomes a medium for both the writer and the reader to take a journey together.

People who have been following my blogs, who had read my previous book were there in full support.  And may I add with such enthusiasm that there was a certain kind of electricity in the room.

I not only have created a bond with my readers, but I also have formed a special connection to the 20 pioneering women I have showcased in the book. While researching their lives, reading their memoirs and going over interview clips, I felt as if I was getting to know a new friend, or an admired mentor.  Their lives, their presence in the world inspired me. I posted their pictures on a board in my office and wrote down the quotes that resonated in my life.

My wish is that Pioneers of the Possible, and the lives of these visionary women around the world opens that door for the readers to once again take that special journey of discovery with me.  These are stories of hope, resilience, creativity, and the joy in celebrating the achievement of women.

“It’s Our Turn” Brentwood School hosts it’s first ever Young Women’s Conference featuring Maria Shriver, Mary J Blige, and surprise guest Lady GAGA.

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Eight hundred and fifty young women from 150 schools in the Los Angeles area had gathered in the Gym of Brentwood School for its first ever, Young Women’s Conference, called “It’s Our Turn.”

It was a proud moment for all of us women and especially Brentwood parents to see such a thoughtful and inspirational day unfold before us.  Maria Shriver was the honorary chair for the event and the executive committee—the ones who put on the conference—was made of 10 brilliant Brentwood School Girls that had a passion for growth and for tackling some modern-day issues facing girls today.

It goes without saying the discussion panels and the speakers were beyond belief! Yes, just imagine that the fierce and talented Mary J Blige spoke onstage about her journey, her relationships, and her own experiences with work and rejection.  She was so gracious, candid, and open-hearted that you couldn’t help but admire this woman for what she has done.

I had the great privilege of being a presenter as well and I when I was in the green room, I ran into her and told her how real and remarkable she was.  She smiled at me and said, “Thank you, it means a lot to me.” She wasn’t acting like a larger than life personality, but rather a humble and authentic woman.

A whole host of accomplished women took the stage talking about balancing work and family, about giving back to the community, self-defense and creating boundaries, self-esteem, and bullying.

The big surprise came at the final hour of the event. The surprise guest speaker was blonde donning Chanel sunglasses, a bright red lipstick, a biker leather jacket with studs all over. Any clues? A red silk blouse was tied around her waste that served as a make shift mini skirt and heals that must have been 10 inches high. She came on the stage and the entire gym went wild—there she was—Lady Gaga!

In a world where everything dwindles down to images and sound bites, Lady Gaga sat and talked about her difficulties she faced in being excluded in high school, her own insecurities, and some of the obstacles that have come across her path.  Well over a hundred girls stood in line to ask her questions, and I was amazed to see the level of connection and truthfulness she shared with the audience.

As everyone headed out of the conference, all I could hear were the girls chatting among themselves about the incredible day they had all shared. I was thinking to myself how wonderful it would have been for my generation to have had this kind of opportunity to talk about such issues when we were in the midst of our tumultuous, hormonal ride through high school.  Indeed “It is Our Turn” was the most appropriate name for the conference for these girls.

The ‘Woman in the Mirror’

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It’s been six years that I’ve been conducting women’s workshops. And it was just recently that I sent out this intention into the universe “I want to talk about inspirational topics with women from all different walks of life.”

What fuels my life is being around likeminded women who support me in figuring out who I am. So it was only a couple of months ago when I had gone to visit my publisher in New York that I stole two hours for myself to venture out and see great art.

And Voila! This is what you get: Woman in the Mirror, by Picasso.

There is so much to say about this image that captivated me.

How many times have we are the culprits that limit our own growth? When I first wanted to write a book, all of these negative and fearful thoughts came to my mind —Why would anybody be interested in what I have to say? How dare I change my work from being a psychology professor to becoming a writer! It’s too late. How can I manage the workload with my family’s needs? I’m too old. Am I going through a midlife crisis?—You can just imagine the laundry list of all the reasons I came up with.

I’m sure all of us have gone through this at some point of our lives or another. And magically, when I was doing research for my second book Anais Nin’s quote hit home:

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are” — Anais Nin.

As we go through life’s journey, we stumble upon ourselves over and over again —our deepest desires, the important relationships in our lives, our career choices, strengths and limitations, force us to reexamine who we are and where we are heading.

Our life is seldom a straight path, but rather a series of unfolding takings and turnings. Do we check in with ourselves to see if we are headed in the right direction?

In the hopes of creating meaningful dialogue for us women who are embracing the journey, I will be posting thoughts, discoveries and topics that may interest you. But most importantly, I would like to create a forum where we inspire one another to experiencing greater and deeper lives. Just remember, re-visioning ourselves does not require us to tear down all that we have worked for, but to refocus our energies on what invigorates us most.

Here is a great quote to think about “A little change is all it takes to make a big difference,” —Editor at O, Magazine.

Around the Globe in 2 Book Events

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This week culminated my last leg of my speaking tour for my book, Life as a Visitor.  Funny to say this, but this past year I was living life as a visitor, literally.  To think of the many book events that took place all other the States and all the new people I met!  And now that my publisher tells me that there are less than 50 copies of my book in their stores, I feel that it’s time to move on and buckle down on the writing of my second book.  (of course I will update you about this new exciting project in the weeks ahead).  But, I am glad that the closing of this chapter of my tour coincided with two very special book events.

Two hundred people attended the WIZO luncheon this past Wednesday at the Regency Club in West Los Angeles.  I was very honored to be the speaker for the day and the funds raised at the event would benefit shelters and day care centers for the women and children of Israel.  As I stood at the podium I could tell that the women gathered in the ballroom came from various backgrounds. So I took an informal pole and I was right.  There were women from S. Africa, Israel, Morocco, Algeria, Romania, Hungary, Germany, Poland, Iran, and other Latin American countries. I was thinking to myself that nowadays our own city has become even more diverse than it was 10 years ago.  What was most interesting is that many of these women approached me after lunch and talked about the similarity of their story with mine, which comes to show that the story of displacement and moving to another country is more universal than one would think.

Two days later, my good friend, Pune Ghebleh, held a magnificent book party at the Lons at Hermosa in Paradise Valley in Arizona.  This gracious host of mine had done such a beautiful job of welcoming me to her community.  Again, what I was struck by was the diversity of the guests–It was a gathering of women from Mexico, Syria, Serbia, Muslims, Christians, Bahais, and Jews.   What can I tell you, it was my kind of crowd.  The deep level of conversation and dialogue that took place was especially meaningful to me.  And, now I feel I have a link to another wonderful community in Phoenix.  (To see pictures of the book event, please visit

http://www.blacktie-arizona.com/photos/photoevent.cfm?id=366)

While I was boarding the plane back to Los Angeles that afternoon, I looked out to take a last look at the sweeping dessert landscape outside.  The red sunset and the shifting light reflected on the mountain range took my breath away.  There I was, waiting in line to board my flight and I had one thought in mind:  There is no greater adventure than life itself. These were the very words I had written in my book. And now, looking back on this year’s worth of adventure, I have to say it again and again and again.  How far I have come this year!  What an adventure it has been.

Thank you to all my friends, supporters, and readers. Thank you!

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